Protecting Your Relationship With Your Children

Custody & Visitation Attorney in Williamsburg, VA

When parents separate, custody and visitation decisions shape how your family will function for years to come.

These decisions affect where your children live, how much time you spend with them, and who makes important choices about their upbringing.

Custody disputes are emotional. But protecting your bond with your children requires clear-headed legal advocacy.



 At Selje Law, we help parents understand their rights, build strong cases, and fight for custody arrangements that serve their children's best interests, while preserving the parent-child relationship.

How Child Custody Works in Virginia

Child custody in Virginia has two components: legal custody and physical custody.

Legal custody determines who makes major decisions about your child's life.

Physical custody determines where your child lives and who provides daily care.

Virginia courts generally favor arrangements that allow both parents to remain involved in their children's lives. There is no automatic preference for mothers over fathers or fathers over mothers.

The court's sole focus is determining what arrangement serves the best interest of the child.

Understanding the difference between legal and physical custody, and the various arrangements available, is essential for any parent facing a custody dispute.

Legal Custody

What is legal custody?

Legal custody is the right of a parent to make major decisions regarding their child. These are the significant choices that shape a child's development and future.

Decisions Covered by Legal Custody:



• Healthcare and medical treatment

• Education and schooling choices

• Religious upbringing

Sole Legal Custody:

One parent has the authority to make major decisions for the child without consulting the other parent. This arrangement is less common and typically reserved for situations where the parents cannot cooperate or where one parent poses concerns.

Joint Legal Custody:

Both parents share the right to make major decisions. Neither parent has a superior right, and both must be involved in significant choices about the child's life. This is the outcome in the majority of Virginia custody cases.

When parents share legal custody, the custody order typically sets forth how disputes will be resolved if the parents disagree on a major decision.

Physical Custody

What is physical custody?

Physical custody is the right to have the child live with you and the responsibility to provide routine daily care. This includes day-to-day decisions about meals, bedtime, homework, and other aspects of daily life.

Sole Physical Custody:



The child primarily lives with one parent, who is responsible for daily care. The other parent typically has visitation rights, also called parenting time, but the child's primary residence is with the custodial parent.

Joint Physical Custody:

The child resides with both parents and spends significant time with each. Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean an equal 50-50 split. It may be any arrangement in which the child spends meaningful time living with each parent.



The specific schedule depends on the family's circumstances, including the parents' work schedules, the child's school and activities, and the geographic distance between the parents' homes.

Joint Legal Custody:

Both parents share the right to make major decisions. Neither parent has a superior right, and both must be involved in significant choices about the child's life. This is the outcome in the majority of Virginia custody cases.

When parents share legal custody, the custody order typically sets forth how disputes will be resolved if the parents disagree on a major decision.

Joint Custody

What is joint custody?

Joint custody provides each parent with shared responsibility for the child, with the parents sharing time and decision-making authority regarding the child's needs.

Virginia courts favor joint custody arrangements when they serve the child's best interests. Joint custody can apply to legal custody, physical custody, or both.

Decisions Covered by Legal Custody:



• Healthcare and medical treatment

• Education and schooling choices

• Religious upbringing

What Joint Custody Requires:

For joint custody to work, both parents must be willing and able to cooperate regarding their child's well-being. This does not mean parents must agree on everything or even like each other. It means they must be able to communicate about their child and prioritize the child's needs over their own conflicts.

Benefits of Joint Custody:

• Children maintain strong relationships with both parents

• Both parents remain actively involved in the child's life

• Parenting responsibilities and decisions are shared

• Children may adjust better when both parents stay engaged

Joint custody is not appropriate in every situation.

When there is a history of abuse, domestic violence, or serious conflict that affects the child, other arrangements may better serve the child's interests.

How Virginia Courts Decide Custody

Virginia courts apply the Best Interests of the Child standard to all custody determinations.

This standard is defined in Virginia Code Section 20-124.3. Under this standard, neither parent has a legal presumption in their favor. The court looks solely at what arrangement will best serve the child.

Factors the Court Considers:

• The age and physical and mental condition of the child

• The age and physical and mental condition of each parent

• The relationship existing between each parent and the child

• The needs of the child

• The role each parent has played and will play in the child's upbringing

• The willingness of each parent to support the child's relationship with the other parent

• The child's reasonable preference, if the child is of appropriate age and maturity

• Any history of family abuse

• Any other factors the court considers necessary and proper



The court looks at the totality of circumstances, not just one or two factors. Building a strong custody case means presenting evidence that addresses these factors and demonstrates why your proposed arrangement serves your child's best interests.

Visitation and Parenting Time

When one parent has primary physical custody, the other parent is generally entitled to reasonable visitation with their child.

Visitation, also called parenting time, ensures that children maintain relationships with both parents even when they primarily live with one.



Courts rarely deny visitation entirely. Visitation is typically only restricted when it would seriously endanger the child's physical, mental, or emotional health. Even then, the court may order supervised visitation rather than eliminating contact completely.

Types of Visitation Arrangements

Standard visitation:  A typical schedule might include alternating weekends, one weeknight, alternating holidays, and extended time during summer break.

Extended visitation: When parents live far apart, the noncustodial parent may have longer blocks of time during school breaks rather than frequent short visits.

Supervised visitation: When safety concerns exist, visitation may occur in the presence of a third party or at a supervised visitation center.

Graduated visitation: Parenting time may start limited and gradually increase as the parent-child relationship develops or concerns are addressed.

The best visitation schedules account for the child's school calendar, the parents' work schedules, transportation logistics, and the child's activities and needs.

Custody for Military Parents

Military service creates unique challenges for custody arrangements. Deployments require parents to be away for extended periods. PCS moves can relocate families across the country or around the world. These realities must be addressed in any custody arrangement involving a service member.

Virginia courts apply the same Best Interest of the Child standard to military families. However, the court considers how military service affects each parent's ability to provide stability and maintain a relationship with the child.

Key Considerations for Military Parents:

• Frequent relocations may affect the ability to obtain primary physical custody

• Deployments require arrangements for care during absence

• Military Family Care Plans should align with custody orders

• Custody agreements should include provisions for delegated visitation

• Flexibility is essential to accommodate unpredictable military schedules

We help military families create custody arrangements that work within the realities of military life.

FAQs

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS